The sharp sting of loss

It's been eight years
(On July 1st)
Since my first baby left me
At five short weeks and four shorter days
In a flood of blood and notmuch.
It's been eight years
But I can still remember the sight of it
And the strange calm as I flushed the toilet.

I hope I'm pregnant this month. Just to get me through. Because this is the first time in three years I've been this upset about it.

We all make choices in our lives. This was a choice I did not make.