34+3

The baby is now measuring 34cm, although the midwife thinks he will be a smaller baby, under 8lb. I can't imagine having a baby that small after having 9lb+ Fatbum. I think he will be smaller too. Although currently I feel VERY FULL of child. His bum is just below my sternum and his head is free and around my pelvis. I cannot bend. There is nowhere for him to go. I can't wait for him to start engaging, but that's probably going to be another four weeks.

I'm so tired. Hb was 10.3 last week, so it's probably lower by now. I start iron tommorow when I pick my prescription up. I'm really very symptomatic. B12 isn't doing too badly though.

Fatbum is utterly adorable at the moment. This is SUCH a lovely age. A shame the ex is missing out on a lot of it by not getting his priorities straight. Fatbum turns two in a few short weeks. Unbelievable. He's just covered me in stickers.

I'm starting to want the Lump now. Really want him, not just hope for the best when he comes. I find myself wondering what he'll look like and who he'll resemble more. I wonder if he'll be a mini-Fatbum or whether he'll be completely different. I wonder how he'll feed and whether he'll be a fussy or calm baby. I know that when I hold him, I'll know this was worth it.

I am dreading the postnatal period. But I have survived THIS. I am not dead. I can survive more. And one day it won't hurt so much.