Day 2

So, I feel OK today. Yesterday, I was a bit angry at my deficient body. Not particularly upset, though I shed a small tear.
I don't know why I keep failing to concieve. It wouldn't be so bad if it had been difficult the other times, but it wasn't. The baby I lost was a fumble in the dark of an accident, and Fatboy took two weeks. This is cycle five. FIVE. I never dreamed it would take this long. I've been on folic acid since NOVEMBER. I'm still breastfeeding, but ovulation is now normal and my luteal phase is 14 days. Breastfeeding causes a prolactin surge which inhibits ovulation, and can make the luteal phase very short. So I'm quite happy that I am at least working FAIRLY normally now. I'm going to give it another month, and then get a blood test to check I'm ovulating and start temperature charting. I've always avoided temp charting. It's a bit TOO obsessive for my liking.

Maybe cycle 5 will be the charm and I shall have another March baby. Is it really two years since I was gearing up to TTC the Fatboy?

However, shortly I shall be off on holiday and I can drink, eat shellfish and rare meat and swim and dance and be vigorous and all the stuff I would be avoiding if I was in early pregnancy, so there's a silver lining there at least. I should be ovulating on holiday which is added goodness.

I'm surrounded by pregnant people. A woman at work, a friend I see every week at the toddler group. All beaming and BLOOMING. Gah to them. I swig my wine and ignore them.