41+4

Today is the first day where I've felt REALLY pregnant. TOO pregnant.

I had a sweep on Tuesday. She told me she considered it favourable, going on my history of fast dilation from a clinically unready cervix. However, it is Friday and I remain pregnant. I have had a show, but not sure whether it was natural or triggered by the sweep. The plan is that on Monday, when I'm 42 weeks, I transfer to consultant care (so no homebirth) and they will want to do a prostin induction. Unless there's a problem with the baby, then I won't be consenting. It means I'll be swept again and go back a couple of days later to check the status quo, but I really don't want to be induced. Chances are, if induced, I'll have a very fast, very painful labour.

I'd much rather wait it out at home. I don't really mind having him in hospital, but I want to go home straight afterwards. It's easier to be discharged from midwife care than from cons care. I'll self discharge if I have to.

I'm not fed up of being pregnant, just of the anticipation. Mum's come to stay. I think she was expecting me to have delivered by now. My ex rings every day. He doesn't mind that I haven't delivered and is equally against induction, but I can tell he's getting anxious. My in laws are driving me crazy. They seem to think I'm deliberately not giving birth. Sigh.

I'd really like to cuddle my baby now.